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Prove: Santa Does Not Exist
No
known species of reindeer can fly. But there ARE 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of
these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule
out flying reindeer, which only Santa has seen.
There
are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since
Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and
Jewish children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-
378 million or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per
household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's
at least one good child in each.
Santa
has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to time zones
and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This
is to say that for each Christian household with good children,
Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh,
jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the
remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get back up
the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next
house.
Assuming
that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly
(which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations
we will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household,
a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom
stops.
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